Saying no will not turn you into a bully or make you insensitive or petty. You won’t stop helping others, but you’ll become more discerning about how you respond and to whom. By being more selective, you’ll protect your health, have time for yourself, and assist only those you want to help-friends whose friendships you want to preserve.
-Susan Newman The Book of No
Find the flow and follow it. You can’t go wrong. Even if you’re in a situation where you feel uncomfortable or out of place, don’t try to swim against the current. Change direction. Find the flow and follow it. Moving with the flow of life has given me supreme confidence because I know there’s a Power greater than I, a natural rhythm to things that is a force beyond my own. I trust it and believe that no matter what, I will be okay. I know for sure that this is the ultimate in confidence. I know that I am more than my personality, my body, and my body image. Life is huge, more expansive than we can feel or imagine. Even in my deepest meditation or moments of profound awareness, I can only connect with a fraction of all that is alive. Whenever I find myself in a difficult situation, I’m reminded of a line from a Maya Angelou poem called “Our Grandmothers”: I go forth / alone, and stand as ten thousand. I think of all who’ve come before me and had to endure trials that would level most of us in our urban comfort zones, and I realize I’m not the first person to face big challenges. This has been done before. I can do it again, maybe even better.
I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe.
I would like to explain the meaning of compassion, which is often misunderstood. Genuine compassion is based not on our own projections and expectations, but rather on the rights of the other: irrespective of whether another person is a close friend or an enemy, as long as that person wishes for peace and happiness and wishes to overcome suffering, then on that basis we develop genuine concern for his or her problem. This is genuine compassion. Usually when we are concerned about a close friend, we call this compassion. This is not compassion; it is attachment. Even in marriage, those marriages that last only a short time do so because of attachment – although it is generally present – but because there is also compassion. Marriages that last only a short time do so because of a lack of compassion; there is only emotional attachment based on projection and expectation. When the only bond between close friends is attachment, then even a minor issue may cause one’s projections to change. As soon as our projections change, the attachment disappears – because that attachment was based solely on projection and expectation. It is possible to have compassion without attachment – and similarly, to have anger without hatred. Therefore we need to clarify the distinctions between compassion and attachment, and between anger and hatred. Such clarity is useful in our daily life and in our efforts towards world peace. I consider these to be basic spiritual values for the happiness of all human beings, regardless of whether one is a believer or a nonbeliever.
Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace.
In Buddhism we have relative truth and absolute truth.
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
Cynicism is a belief in…nothing.
It takes courage to believe in things; sometimes things will disappoint you, sometimes people will let you down. To have faith is to risk having your heart broken, and the cynic isn’t willing to take that risk.
-from Boys will put you on a pedestal (so they can look up your skirt) by Philip Van Munching
